
If he has sexual desires that he talks about with women online, then ask him to tell you what those are. Sit down with your husband to have this discussion. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up. This is what keeps marriage counselors busy. People assume that because they are with a person they know pretty well, they also know how their mate feels about these topics. This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed. He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying. Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part. First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable. Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.

What can I do?Ī: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes. He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

I discovered that he's been surfing porn sites and going to chat rooms to have sex with other women online. Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer.
